Do you ever feel like there are so many things that you want to do but never really have the time for? Things that you think you’d enjoy but after doing all the “regular” every day things that need to get done you don’t feel like you have the energy to do anything else? Things like going for a run. Or reading that book that’s been sitting on your shelf for months that you’ve been meaning to get to.
For the longest time this is how I felt and still do feel most of the time. There are always things I wanted to get done but I always feel like I lack the motivation to actually get them done.
The past two weeks I’ve been trying to get into the habit of running regularly and it’s been hard. This week I’ve slacked a lot actually- I only ran once but I feel like I can hear God’s voice more clearly when I’m out running. Out pushing myself to do the good things that I know I should be doing to better myself. During one of these runs I felt God telling me why I hadn’t had the motivation to get all the things that I wanted to get done.
The problem was I wasn’t seeking Him first.
But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. – Matthew 6:33
God spoke to me so clearly on this one particular run and He told me that when I seek these things first- the desire to be healthy, or be more adventurous and try new things, or even just try to read more- I am not putting Him in His rightful place. When I don’t seek God first, these things become my main goal and they were never meant to be and that is why I lost focus of them so quickly. I’m still struggling with this now. I desire to wake up a little earlier each morning and spend time with God before starting my day- but far too often than I care to admit I choose sleeping over this.
God showed me how when I seek Him first, He’ll give me the motivation to get done the things that He knows are good for me- like running or reading. He rearranges my day and gives me time to do these things and I don’t have to worry about that.
I am striving to spend time with God first and not worry about all these “secondary” issues that aren’t mine to arrange anyway. I know that the things that I want are good things but they turn rotten when they are out of order in my life. I wish it were easier to seek God first. It’s convicting to realize how often I don’t but I am committed to continually striving after this until I can get it right.