I really like to read but never really make as much time for it as I wish I did. Over the past few months though I have been reading more than I normally do and I love it! The most recent book that I finished is called Love and Respect by Emerson Eggerichs and it was amazing. I first got the idea to read it off of another blogger who suggested it and I’m really glad I did- it taught me soo much. If you are someone who is in a committed relationship leading towards marriage, engaged, or even married I highly suggest you read this book.
The book is broken up into three different parts and I want to just recap each part for you guys to see if maybe this is a book you might be interested in. The three parts were called: The Crazy Cycle, The Energizing Cycle, and The Rewarding Cycle
T H E C R A Z Y C Y C L E
In what Emerson calls “The Crazy Cycle” he explains how men and women are very different in the way that they see the world and what they want from the world. He explains how God created men to desire respect above all else and for women to desire love. We see everything based off of these desires and whether or not we are receiving these desires. He also explained how when women are not receiving love the way they react comes off as disrespectful to a man, and when men are not receiving respect the reactions they have come across as unloving to a woman. Even if neither the man or woman mean for the reactions to come across as unloving or disrespectful, Emerson explains that these natural reactions are just picked up by the opposite gender as this way. So this is what he refers to “The Crazy Cycle” because when a wive senses her husband is being unloving, she reacts in a disrespectful way which causes her husband to react in an unloving way and it just becomes a cycle of messiness. Emerson writes about ways to identify what type of signal you might be giving off so that you can be aware and stop the crazy cycle.
T H E E N E R G I Z I N G C Y C L E
The Energizing Cycle is the part where Emerson breaks down the needs of a man and woman and specifically writes out how a husband or wife can meet these needs. He calls this the energizing cycle because this keeps the couple in harmony because each spouse is meeting each other’s deepest need. Obviously we are still sinful people so this never works perfectly but it is super helpful. I never really exactly understood how to show respect or what Tommy really needed from me until I read this book. It opened my eyes to a lot of ways I can love and support him better.
T H E R E W A R D I N G C Y C L E
The Rewarding Cycle is what makes all of this important. Emerson explains how none of this would really matter if we were just doing this for ourselves or to get what we want from our spouses. He isn’t even good enough to just do it to make our spouses happy. Emerson explains that this is all important because it is what God commands from a husband and wife. Ephesians 5:33 says “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” Emerson explains that when we obey God in this way it gives Him the ability to work in our marriages and gives Him the most glory.
This book I thought was going to be an easy read but ended up taking much longer than I imagined but this was because it has so much information to get from it. It’s filled with knowledge that I wanted so desperately to soak up every word of it. I lent it to Tommy to read but it is definitely a book that I will probably read over and over because it was so helpful. If you are interested in how to love your significant other better and in a way that will most naturally appeal to them then I highly suggest this book!