Hi friends- I was just thinking a lot about where my life is going to go from here once I am no longer employed at Hudson City/M&T. I looked up a bunch of jobs to apply to and just have been thinking about how much is going to change over the next few months. I’m excited but nervous as well.
Tommy and I started premarital counseling last night and it was equally scary as it was exciting. I’m super shy and have a huge fear of putting myself out there so I was insanely nervous before the meeting because well the whole purpose of this meeting was for our counselor to get to know us aka us putting ourselves out there. All in all though I’m really glad we did it. We got to share with him our personal testimonies (which I’m actually planning on sharing on here sometime soon) and how we met.
I was thinking today about how I always have such big hopes and dreams but never seem to really fulfill any of them (depressing thought I know). But in all honesty I didn’t think of it in a sad way – just a realistic one. I want this place to grow and I want to show up here more consistently but the weight of failing to do that keeps me from showing up really at all.
And then I got to thinking, I do this more often than I realize. I have such big dreams but am so afraid of them failing that I rationalize myself to not try at all. I really want to break the habit of this and start to put myself out there. I want to grow into the person that Jesus made me to be. I want to stop being so afraid of failure and really start to live.
I decided I’m going to take my first step to doing this by heading down the street during lunch to the CVS and seeing if I can find myself a planner where I can start keeping track of goals that I want to keep. I think this will help because I can plan out steps to making these goals come true and it will help keep me accountable.
How about you? Does anyone else struggle with this same thing? If so, do you have any tips to help? I’d love to hear from you!