I have been married just over 9 months now and it’s been a journey to say the least. You can read hundreds of articles about getting married, and still be utterly unprepared for just how much your world is going to change. It changes in all different ways, some good and others… well I wouldn’t say bad, but definitely in some ways that you never expected that take some time getting used to. This is definitely how I feel about my relationship with God since getting married. I want to share with you all the ways it has changed: the good, the bad, and the ugly. (PS. This is a vulnerable post, please be kind.)
I know that the intro probably made it sound as if my relationship with God changed for the worst after getting married, but there are definitely still some good aspects to the changes as well.
- I now have someone to pray with me all the time. My husband and I are still learning to be comfortable praying with each other, but it’s an awesome thing to be struggling with something and be able to ask Tommy to pray for me.
- I have someone to remind me of God’s goodness when I can’t see it. Sometimes when you’re walking through something hard, it’s really hard to see God in the midst of it. Having someone walking through life so closely with you gives them the ability to encourage you and show you that God is right there with you even when you can’t see it.
- Being married has caused me to grow my trust in God. I’m still learning to do this but I now have to learn to trust God with my husband. It’s not only my life that matters to me so greatly, but my husband’s as well. I had to learn to first trust my life in God’s hands and I am not (slowly) learning to trust Tommy’s life in God’s hands as well.
Even though I am labeling these things as bad, I still know that God can and will bring goodness out of them.
- I don’t spend as much quality time with God. I’m still working on the answer as to why this is. It’s very frustrating but I just don’t feel as close with God now as I did before. Maybe I just need to make more time for God so that there can be a better relationship, I’m not sure, but I am still working through this because I want to be closer with God again.
- I don’t push myself outside of my comfort zone as much as I did when I was single. This is embarrassing but I subconsciously believed (and probably still do a little bit) that God would answer my prayers if I was being a “good Christian” and trying my absolute best to follow him. And while I know that this is not true, I realize now that when I was single I wasn’t quite as comfortable with my life and would push myself outside of my comfort zone more because I knew that was what God wanted. Now it’s much easier to stay in my own cozy life because I am much more content with it. I really want to start challenging myself more though because it is very important for my walk with God.
I just want to start this section off by asking that you please do not judge me for this. I realize that it is not good and am working my way through fixing it, which is why it is under the section labeled: The Ugly.
- I don’t feel like I need God as much as I used to. Like I said I hate this about myself, but I’m writing it because it’s true and it’s been a struggle since getting married. Before I got married I felt like I very much needed God because I felt alone. Now that I have a loving husband to come home to it can be easy to turn to him for fulfillment or for him to solve my problems instead of God. I desire a closer relationship with God and to turn to him first though and I will keep confessing and fighting against this until I feel that I am no longer struggling with it.
- I sometimes forget that God gave me my marriage and don’t trust him with it. While most of the time I am overwhelmed with thanksgiving to God for answering the biggest desire of my heart, sometimes I forget that he cares about this dream I have as much as I do. This is when I have to learn to trust him more, like I mentioned earlier, because I need to trust that he will protect my marriage. I guess because it is such a joy and such a big desire of my heart to be married, I am afraid of losing this dream, but I know I don’t have to be afraid and that I need to trust God more.
Getting married completely flops your world upside down and I think that that is the reason why my relationship with God has also changed completely. I think it’s okay to admit that you aren’t where you want to be when it comes to your relationship with God, which is why I do not feel any shame for admitting these things. I do want to work on growing in my relationship with God, and my hopes with sharing this is to maybe help someone else who has felt like their relationship with God is different after getting married. Or at least encourage others to take a look at their relationship with God honestly and try their best to improve it.
I’d love to hear from you! If you’re married, has your relationship changed from when you were single? Do you have any tips for me? If you’re single, do you think your relationship with God will change after you get married? How so?