I just finished the book Changes That Heal and it literally rocked my world. The book has five parts – Three Ingredients to Growth, Bonding to Others, Separating from Others, Sorting Out Good and Bad and Becoming an Adult. It was actually quite convicting and I felt really discouraged until I got to the part where the author wrote about how we all struggle with these things as a result of sin entering the world. (Phew it’s not only me.) But it was super helpful and eye opening and it is helping me better relate to those around me.

But for this post I wanted to share with you what I learned from the Becoming an Adult chapter. It sounds silly almost because I started off thinking well I am an adult, I don’t need help becoming one but it’s more about how to grow into a successful adult. It’s about how to disconnect from parents or how our parents did something and seeing God as our true Father – the only one we have to obey.

I’m only going to share with you some of the key steps to being a successful adult because there are many and I don’t think you want to read all of them (at least not here) haha but if you like these I highly recommend this book. It was great.

8 Steps to Becoming a Successful Adult

  • Reevaluate Beliefs- Why do I believe what I believe? Because someone told me to? Because of my own experiences? This may sound silly but when I sat down to actually answer it, it wasn’t quite as black and white as I originally thought.
  • Recognize + Pursue Talents- Recognize and work on developing strengths. If you do not know what yours are – ask God. Ask others too.
  • Practice- Learn to value process more than result. Go out and fail, then laugh it off and do it again. Everything requires trial and error. Learn to enjoy your talents.
  • Recognize the Privileges of Adulthood- Remaining in a child position is safe because everyone does the thinking for you – all you have to do is lose your self-respect. Adults have freedom to choose their own talents, values, beliefs, relationship with God, tastes, friends, and church.
  • Submit to Others out of Freedom- Submit to others out of love, not obligation.
  • Do Good Works- You are God’s prized possession and He created you to do good works. As you work with Him to develop your talents, seek Him for the good works you are to do. They do not have to be grandiose. Your good works could be a link between God and a few neighbors, donating time to an orphanage or needy family. Don’t think you have to save the world too quickly.
  • Become a Pharisee Buster- Looks for ways you are still doing things for approval. Let go of the ways you are trying to earn approval – they only eat away at your soul.
  • Appreciate Mystery + the Unknown- In many ways God is unfathomable. He is so awesome that the more we known Him, the more we realize we don’t. This is where worship begins. Begin to appreciate the things that you cannot figure out about Him and let them be.

Becoming a Pharisee buster is definitely one of the most difficult ones for me. I so tend to operate out of wanting others to approve of me or even wanting God to approve of me. I need to slow down and remember that He already does. I also struggle with appreciating the unknown about God, it’s getting easier the more I know Him but let me tell you – that ones a tough one for me.

Were these helpful for anyone else? Which one was the most helpful or maybe the one you struggle with the most? I’d love to chat. 

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