• Faith,  Marriage

    Why Marriage Is Not The Happily Ever After We Thought It Was

    September 17, 2015

    Now I’m not married or even engaged for that matter so I’m not sure if I’m truly qualified to even write this post but I’m going to attempt it anyway. It’s obvious based off my other posts that Tommy and I are pretty serious and that we even have been talking about getting married a lot lately. We both know that we want to marry each other, it’s just a matter of time and letting the details work themselves out. As with anything new that I am about to embark on I have been reading AS MUCH as I can about marriage because I’m the type of person who always wants to be prepared. My parents are also divorced and I want to learn as much as I can how to have a healthy, happy marriage since it’s not what I grew up around or know much about.

    The Most Important Thing I’ve Learned:

    Marriage is not meant to make you happy. Wait, what? Isn’t that what’s taught – no drilled into our heads since we were old enough to talk? Isn’t that what every Disney movie (with the exception of Frozen – Hallelujah!) is about? If you search hard enough, or wait around long enough, prince charming will come find you. And when he does, it’s going to be glorious and there won’t be anything left to worry about. You’ll have your happily ever after and everything will be perfect.

    But what happens when you wake up in the real world, next to a sinner – like yourself – and your prince charming does something you never would have imagined he would do? What happens when you’ve run into an issue in your marriage just two weeks in and you’re arguing all the time? Do you just give up because this isn’t what you thought married life was supposed to be like?

    I hope not. I hope you choose to fight more for your marriage than you fight with your spouse. I hope you are able to swallow your pride and apologize when you’re wrong. But more than that I hope you forgive – I hope you forgive even when you don’t want to, even when your spouse did something you thought you never could forgive them for. Because isn’t that what marriage is truly about?

    God gave us the gift of marriage to show us the beauty behind His love for us. It’s not meant to make us happy, it’s meant to make us holy. When we choose to get married, we are choosing to put someone’s needs before our own and sacrifice ourselves for another person. We’re choosing to put their happiness ahead of ours. We’re choosing to become more like Jesus. No wonder marriage isn’t the happily ever after we thought it would be. This is no easy task – I struggle with it already and I’m not even married yet.

    The most amazing part of marriage to me is the grace were expected to give to our spouses. When we say “I do”, we’re committing to extend grace through anything, no matter what. We’re expected to stare straight at our spouse’s weaknesses, the same weakness that have hurt us and say “Nope I refuse to leave, I’m staying and I’m still choosing to love you”. And the greatest part of it all is that we’re expected to do all this because Jesus has already done it all for us – and more!

    He’s looking at you right now saying “You – the messy, broken you that you don’t even like.. I want you. I want that part of you. Bring it to me and confess the brokenness – only I can heal you and I WANT to, more than you want to be healed. Come to me and I will give you rest.”

    This is why marriage is so glorious! Because we were made to reflect that beauty. We get to show that grace to another person – that even though you’re messy and even though you hurt me – I still love you and I still am staying no matter what. We’re set up in the perfect place to really put on display Christ’s love to not only our spouses but to the world around us and this is so so much better than any happily ever after the movies display for us.

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Tommy’s Turn (An Extra Special Guest Post)

    September 13, 2015

     Hi guys. I’m super excited to share with you what Tommy has written for the blog 🙂 I was really excited when he offered talked about wanting to write a blog post and his post is so sweet I know you guys will love it. So without further ado – here’s my handsome, silly boyfriend:

    Hiya folks! This blog is going to be a little different than Ashley’s usual…. I bet you’re wondering why.  Let me start by introducing myself. My name is Tommy and I’m Ashley’s boyfriend. This is my first crack blogging and I’m really excited Ashley is letting me take over her cool new hobby; I’m also brand new to this blogging world so please go easy on me.

    Anyway I just wanted to share some quick thoughts on how grateful I am for my girly-friend. Since I don’t entirely understand the meaning of a segue-way I will be jumping right into this. Never in my life would I think I would have met such a perfect match for me as Ashley. This amazing chick understands, cares, loves, and guides me in ways I didn’t know were possible. When I’m lost in my faith, or beginning to stray, she is always there to offer such godly advice – it humbles and silents me. So for most of my life I have been a pretty quiet and shy guy, and never one to stand up for myself. Ashley has made me realize my true identity in Christ. Having the confidence in our one true savior has allowed me to really break out of my shell, and feel comfortable enough to be myself. What is so amazing about all of this is, even through my bumps and bruises, no matter how big my flaws , BOTH Ashley and Jesus have an unconditional love me. I hope you all one day understand that Jesus’ love pours out like a never ending river for you. Its FREE baby, its the hope of the world! I really could go on and on about Ashy but its time to wrap this little blog attempt up. Hopefully this was short and sweet, I really enjoyed writing it, and hope you enjoy reading. It’s time for some s’mores brownies! So I’m out. Sleep easy all.

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  • Life

    My Ideal Day // Blog-tember Challenge Day 2

    September 3, 2015

    So just to keep you guys updated, I got back from the Bahamas Monday night at 12:30 pm and it was THE BEST vacation ever. It was so fun and I can’t wait to write a post about it but until then I’m linking up with Bailey Jean at Brave Love Blog and attempting to blog every day in the month of September (long shot I think but still worth a try). Today’s topic is Your Ideal Day.

    This post couldn’t have come at a better time because quite honestly I have been nothing but a crank-pot since I got back from vacation. Yesterday I was EXHAUSTED from driving home from Pittsburgh (more on that later) and I felt like a zombie and today I think I’m just readjusting to being back in the real world after 5 days away and let me tell you, it is rough.

    But enough on that, now it’s time to think of wonderful things that make me happy so without further ado here’s:
    My Ideal Day:
    Morning:

    So on an ideal day my morning would start out very slowly because I am not a morning person (just ask my boyfriend ;)). I would have time to wake up at my own pace and have time no real duties to attend to all day. I would love to spend time at my desk, with the curtains open and the sunshine shining in. I would have a beautifully scented candle lit, right now something autumn-y would be perfect (so excited for fall to be starting btw). I would have a delicious cup of coffee and would be spending alone time with Jesus to set my heart on Him for the rest of the day.

    quiet time

    Afternoon:

    In an ideal world I would live only minutes from the beach so for the early afternoon, Tommy and I would head to the beach to spend some quality time in the sun together 🙂

    tommy bahamas
    sneak peak from the Bahamas!
    Nighttime:

    At night I would go for a target run with my best friend Kristin, and have one of our awesome life talks while we do it. I would be enjoying a nice cup of tea too. At home I would enjoy baked ziti for dinner with Tommy and our amazzzing dessert that we can’t get enough of – recipe is here if you wanna try too :). Afterwards we would cuddle and enjoy whatever show we are currently addicted to on Netflix until we fell asleep.

    pic collage 2

    And that would be it. It may sound unexciting and very simple but I tend to be a very simple girl and the little things are what make me happiest – like a delicious cup of coffee, my sweet boyfriend, a lovely trip to target, and a warm cup of tea.

    What about you guys? What would be a perfect day in your life? Are you simple like me or would you enjoy way more excitement or adventure in your ideal day? I would love to know 🙂

    Also, join me and attempt to blog every day in September! (This post is already a day late haha I started it last night but got busy so I finished it this morning.. oops)

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  • Faith,  Life

    True Life: I Hate The Unknown

    August 24, 2015

    It’s true. I hate the unknown more than anything. When I don’t know the details of things that are happening in my life I get anxious. I love to be prepared and when I’m prepared I think that I’m the one in control of what is happening in my life. Obviously this isn’t true in the slightest. God’s in control, no matter how much planning and preparing I do. He ultimately decides how things happen in my life.

    Planning and preparing aren’t bad things in themselves of course, I think God honors us when we are responsible and plan for things that are happening in our lives. But I believe it’s a sin when we plan and plan and plan so much that we think we are out planning God. I don’t know if anyone else struggles with this but sometimes I think I know better than God does. I know what I’ll enjoy and I want to enjoy it when I want it. I can be very impatient at times.

    The most frustrating part to me is that I KNOW Jesus’s ways are better than my own. I know that waiting on His timing will only bring me more joy, but sometimes I still feel that I know better or maybe it’s just that I can be selfish at times and I want what I want more than I want to wait for whatever Jesus has prepared for me.

    I’m having a hard time with this but I know that Jesus will carry me through. What do you guys do when you struggle with waiting on Jesus? I’d love to hear from you.

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  • Faith,  Marriage

    Life Update: God Cares About The Small Things Too!

    July 29, 2015

    Disclaimer: This is super long and way more personal than my prior posts. I hope you guys will enjoy learning more about my life and what God is doing in it. I’d love to hear about yours as well! Leave a comment with your blog website and I’d love to check it out 🙂

    God is SO good guys! My main reason for documenting this is because I really want to be able to clearly remember how God showed up and answered my prayers in such an amazing way. My hopes is that it encourages you too and helps you to remember that God is always here with us and cares so so much about us.

    So let me let you to what’s currently going on in my life a little bit. As I’ve written about in an older post, I have been dating Tommy for quite some time now – tomorrow is actually our 9 month anniversary! Tommy and I by no means have a perfect relationship, we have our struggles just as everybody else does but I know that this is the man that God has made for me to marry. He is the most thoughtful and caring guy I have ever known. He loves Jesus, most importantly, which is what makes our relationship so great.

    Tommy and I have gotten to the point where we know that we want to marry each other but we are trying to figure out the details and getting ready for that point. Obviously this means that we would both need to be financially able to live on our own. I am most likely going to have to find a new job within the next six months or so because my bank has been pending a merger for about 3 years now (lol) so if/when that goes through I will be let go. I just graduated from college in May though and am not too worried about finding something, just because I know that God will provide and take care of me.

    Tommy happens to be two years younger than I am and he has not exactly figured out which direction he wants to go in when it comes to jobs. His dad is a welder and for a while his plan was to learn from his dad and become a welder also. This path however is a little uncertain because his dad would have to be able to get him a job at the quarry that he works at and we weren’t sure that this was 100% going to be able to happen. Tommy also has an interest in business and has been debating continuing his education and getting a business degree. (Did you catch that?? He’s hands on (wanting to be a welder) and also super smart when it comes to managing money… am I a lucky girl or what?!)

    But this has been tough for me because I can be quite an impatient person sometimes and always one to want to be in control of things. Both Tommy and I have felt that our relationship is at the point where we want to take the next step (& get engaged!!) but we obviously need to make a mature decision and make sure that we can provide for ourselves once we’re married. So to the impatient part lol I have realized that if Tommy chooses to continue with his education that we will most likely have to wait until he graduates before we are able to get married, which could be about 2-3 years. I’m not going to lie I went through a time where I was really struggling with this. I admit that I don’t want to wait that long, and I had a time where I was really unhappy thinking about him doing this. But I also really wanted to be able to support him no matter what he chose to do and I wanted him to make the right decision for himself. I spent a lot of time praying and telling God how I was feeling about it and I can honestly say that He gave me the grace to trust that His plan was way better than mine and be 100% okay with whatever Tommy chose to do, even if that meant that we had to wait 2 or 3 years to get married.

    Now to the exciting part… God seems to really have answered Tommy and I’s prayers in a crazy way. Right when we felt that working with his dad was not really an option anymore, God brought this option back and I can’t tell you how grateful I am. Tommy’s dad is planning to try to get him learning more about welding throughout the rest of this year and hopefully get him in at the quarry sometime early next year! When Tommy told me about this I couldn’t believe it, I’ve never had God surprise me in such a way and it really shows me how much he actually cares about the details of our lives. If Tommy gets the job with his dad, we will be able to get married, and he will also probably have enough time to go back to school to learn business as well. It’s a win all around and so amazing.

    Although I do recognize that God could change his plans again, and it is possible for Tommy to not get the job with his dad, I still am insanely grateful for the hope that He has given us that this is the path that He is leading us down. I’m so excited to see what He has in store for us, even if things do change and Tommy and I aren’t able to get married for 2-3 years. I just am so grateful to have such an amazing man in my life and a God who loves us so much that He takes the time to care about the small details and leads us down the correct path.

    If you managed to read all of this and make it this far, you’re the best!! This was super long haha but something I felt I really wanted to share. Would you mind just praying for Tommy and I – that we would keep following down God’s path for us? Thanks so much guys!

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