I don’t think anything stressed me out more in life than planning my wedding. The biggest problem I had was that I had only been to two wedding in my life prior to my own. One was when I was in Kindergarten – so I was five or six; and the other was when I was seven or eight, when I was the flower girl in my aunt’s wedding. This ended up being a major issue because you see, I barely remembered anything from those weddings. Obviously right? So I really didn’t understand how I was supposed to plan my own while not even knowing what happens at a wedding (aside from the obvious things you see on TV).
I also had this idea in my head that everyone else had this grand idea of what happens at weddings and that nobody ever really did anything differently than these ideas that everybody knew about besides me. So as you can imagine this alone caused a ton of stress. I was constantly trying to make sure my wedding met these standards without really knowing what the standards even were. Sounds a little crazy, but I really didn’t want to do anything at the wedding where people were going to think we were cheap or just think that our wedding wasn’t a good one.
Now on the other side of this I can see the flaws in my thinking. For one, there is no such thing as this grand wedding that everyone knows about besides you. There are traditions in weddings, like cake cutting, first dances, and a garter toss; but honestly nobody cares if you participate in them. And the biggest thing is, if you don’t care about something and don’t want to participate in one of these traditions, then just don’t. You don’t owe anyone an explanation as to why you didn’t do something at your wedding. Your response can simply be, “We decided it wasn’t right for us”. And honestly, people are very unlike to ask why you did or didn’t do anything anyway.
What I really wish I knew is that most people don’t care about what you do at your wedding.
It’s honestly so true, most people understand that it’s your wedding and that it’s your choice what you do or don’t do and they will respect that. I know it’s easier said than done but don’t let other people’s opinion stress you out about your own wedding. At the end of the day, you aren’t going to regret the things you didn’t do because you thought so and so was going to be upset if you didn’t. But after the wedding, you might second-guess whether or not you really did need to spend the extra money trying to impress your guests. Your wedding day is about you. Do what makes you and your fiance happy.
The other thing that I wish I knew when planning my wedding is that you are going to be so excited about getting married that you really won’t care about what people are thinking of you and your day.
This one is more helpful for the introverts. The other major source of stress for me prior to my wedding day was me being so fearful of what people were going to be thinking about me throughout the day. I was terrified to have to say my vows in front of everyone – like absolutely scared out of my mind. Public speaking is literally my worst nightmare.
But to be completely honest, I didn’t think twice about the people who were watching me. All that mattered was that I was actually getting to marry my best friend. This was all really happening. The day was finally there. I was actually excited to say my vows in front of everyone and share with them the love we both had for Jesus and for each other.
(If you’re curious what our vows were you can read them in this post: Zinhobls Say I Do: Ceremony Pictures.)
My hope is to encourage you if you are so stressed and nervous about planning your wedding. Everything is going to come out beautifully because you are working so hard. Your guests will be happy because they love the two of you. They will be happy for the two of you and that’s all that matters. Take it from me on the other side of the stress. 😉